DEAR ANN: Our son is getting married. He and his fiancee both have accumulated many very nice things. They both do well financially, and so the question is – what to do for a wedding present! Is there a traditional gift that the parents of the groom give?


DEAR READER: Best wishes to the happy couple. Often, a gift from parents is meant to be something more on the meaningful side than the expensive side, depending on what the couple enjoys.


Since many parents give their son and his bride the gift of the rehearsal dinner, their “open the present” gift can be something antique/vintage such as sterling silver goblets, napkin rings, or a sterling or Waterford crystal cake cutting set – items that the couple could use at their wedding reception.


Or, perhaps, or some kind of keepsake they could use at their wedding ceremony, such as a silver bud vase on the altar to hold a special flower – especially if they want to put in a single rose as a reminder of someone who has recently passed on.


If they wish to have children, they may love to have to a treasure to hand down and be able to say, “My parents gave us this for our wedding day.”


DEAR ANN: In a restaurant, is it correct to blow one’s nose at the dinner table?


DEAR READER: One may dab at one’s nose in silence. If one must blow, one leaves the table and repairs to the restroom.


DEAR ANN: Is it OK to wipe my nose with my napkin? Not blow my nose, just wipe it.


DEAR READER: No.


DEAR ANN: We are selecting hors d’oeuvres for our wedding. There are so many! Is there a way to approach this that makes sense?


DEAR READER: The rule of thumb is to select eight different hors d’oeuvres. Choose four hot and four cold. Of these, have four displayed and four passed.


For variety’s sake, select one fruit item; one vegetable, such as crudites; one egg-based item; one seafood, such as smoked salmon; one shellfish, such as shrimp; one chicken; one beef; and one dairy, such as cheese.


Often, it can be interesting to add an ethnic choice, as well.


At weddings, it is wise to offer canapes that are not messy or drippy and can be consumed within one or two bites.


DEAR ANN: My daughters have both just become engaged to be married. No attendants have been chosen. Should I remind them that they should ask each other to be each other’s maid of honor?


DEAR READER: No, this is an issue that belongs solely to each daughter. It is best to stay out of it and let them make their own decisions. If they are interested in your input, they will ask your opinion. Until they do so, keep mum.


While many parents hope their children will select siblings for honor attendants, the decision is personal and belongs solely to the individual.


Traditionally, brides and grooms choose their own siblings, and then each other’s siblings before moving on to other relatives and friends.


DEAR ANN: We have four sons. The eldest is getting married and he is upset in having to choose one brother to be his best man.


DEAR READER: Years ago, traditionally, the brother chose the next eldest in line to be his best man. Today, he can have three best men if he likes; many modern grooms have more than one best man, so he needn’t feel that he has to choose one over another.


And there is always the Southern way, in which the groom’s father acts as his best man.


DEAR ANN: My fiance and I are getting married in November. I just found out that three of my guests also have another wedding to attend that day. Since I know this, should I not send them an invitation?


DEAR READER: Do send the invitation as planned. Just because your friends have another wedding that day does not mean that they will choose the other wedding over yours. They may well try to do both.


In any case, since they are on your guest list, invite them and let them choose how they will spend their day.


DEAR ANN: My boyfriend and I have been going out now for a few months. He was invited to a wedding without me. I was not invited, and he was not invited to bring a guest. He was sure I would be welcome. I said absolutely not.


He went, rather grumpily saying he would miss me and that he was sure they meant for him to bring me. I stood my ground. I do not go anywhere without a proper invitation. He says I am “standing on ceremony” too much.


Who is right?


DEAR READER: Continue to stand your ground! Weddings are expensive, and couples can invite only so many people, especially in this economy. You were correct to stay behind. Traditionally, a host invites guests and their spouses, fiancees and very significant/live-in others as a pair to a wedding.


Singles who are merely dating come alone and can be seated at a “singles table.”


Uninvited guests simply do not show up uninvited; they graciously stay away.