<b>DEAR READERS:</b> Marriage is what grows after the wedding. Marriage is the pairing of loving someone while being in love with that someone.

In marriage, the starry eyes, gown, veil and tux meet head-on with the deepening friendship of a partner who is committed to being the best person possible and making a real go of it, to bond forever . . . no separations allowed.

<b>Commitment? </b>Vows!

<b>For better </b>. . . skipping together down a golden road into a rainbow of sunsets. Hurry life! . . . what delights will appear next!?

<b>For worse</b> . . . losing a sister too young, too soon, the grief served up with enduring sadness, holding onto each other for dear life, together in disbelief.

<b>For richer</b> . . . buying a home together in a welcoming community with an abundance of new friends.

<b>For poorer </b>. . . gasping for air as the market falls apart, holding hands together all the way.

<b>In sickness </b>. . . bearing babies born with medical problems, healing from surgeries, up together all night long.

<b>In health </b>. . . traveling the world together to see all, while still well and able.

<b>To love and to cherish</b> . . . ahh, so many parts to love. The closeness of marriage reveals the depth of his caring.

He is always there, smiling, laughing, available in any way, in every way.

Partnering together to raise two daughters meant support was constant and consistent, with long conversations at night after two girls were tucked into bed. Sharing the utter joy of their love, innocence and inner beauty, along with their simple adorableness. Puppies! Three, plus a cat, two guinea pigs, fish and gerbils to nurture.

Patience is his virtue, teaching our girls to hit a ball, ride a bike, swim, ski and golf . . . culminating in college and then those two too-short walks down the aisle.

Marriage means he gave many gifts . . . starting and warming the car early in the morning, building cabinets to house zillions of books, giving up days of golf to entertain his mother-in law, shoveling a pathway for needy neighbors, rewashing my car again and again after days of riding on dirt roads, helping a friend fix his flooded basement.

He served his town in many, many ways. He gave transportation, driving, always driving, taking all who needed a ride to wherever they want to go, and doing it with a smile and a story . . . always amazing everyone with his stories.

Marriage bears the "learning gift" of sharing difficult times together . . . in constantly visiting terminally ill parents, as they engaged in the hard work of dying, the togetherness of marriage sees all. It sees the taking of self-responsibility for self-happiness.

Togetherness sees marriage as a blessing through which partners learn the responsibility of creating self-happiness with no unconfirmed expectation of the other, all while being present and available, with a generous spirit.

Strength, a blessed calmness and a long temper are his gifts . . . slow to anger, quick to forgive and apologize, comfortable in his own skin. He is the first to look in the mirror and acknowledge truth. In marriage, his comfort grows, and it is as palpable and genuine as he is.

<b>Marriage. </b>. . marriage is what grows after the wedding. It still grows here, 40 years after the wedding. He was 24 and I was 22. We are, 'til death do us part, a work in progress. Frozen in time, our wedding photos appear to portray two kids making their first communion together. Our starry eyes, gown, veil and tux, met head-on with the deepening friendship that committed us to combine our lives and make a real go of it, to bond forever . . . no separations allowed.

We had a perfect day, in October of 1968, and suddenly it is 40 years later, the girls are on their own, married, many of our loved ones have passed on and we are wondering where all the time went . . . and how many sunsets do we have left?

No matter; I am thankful to still be skipping together with my true love, down a golden road into a rainbow of sunsets. So, this column is for you, Peter, with love on our 40th anniversary.

Hurry life? No, slow that clock a bit, as I wonder what delights will appear next in this, our marriage!