DEAR ANN: With gay marriage becoming legal in New Hampshire on Jan. 1, how do I know what path to follow for planning my lesbian wedding?

DEAR READER: In any new endeavour, couples can draw on old traditions and also look at new contemporary ideas for their planning. This area of matrimony is relatively new, so it is a blank canvas on which to create.

For example, some couples may elect to choose matching outfits; some may have different attire. Some may involve parents as escorts for both members of the couple; others may process down the aisle alone or together. Still others may dispense with the aisle. Some may issue the invitation with the parents as hosts; others may issue it in their own names.

Many choices abound.

DEAR ANN: One of my friends had a December wedding during a snowstorm. Half of her guests could not attend, but the hotel charged her for meals for all the guests. Is this legal? Common?

DEAR READER: Yes, absolutely. Hotels and caterers ask their clients for a final count. This is a guarantee and the client (your friend the bride) must pay for the number guaranteed, regardless of how many or how few actually attend.

DEAR ANN: In February, I am visiting my boyfriend’s family as a guest for a ski weekend. They have everything imaginable. Do I really need to bring a gift?

DEAR READER: Yes, one always brings a gift to a home event to which one is invited. What the hosts have, or do not have, is moot. What is important is that one brings something that bespeaks thanks.

Nice chocolates, special breads, homemade jams and good wine are all appropriate choices.

DEAR ANN: Recently, I was invited to a home sales party. Because it is at someone’s home, do I need to bring a gift to the hostess?

DEAR READER: This is an exception to the previous question. No, gifts are not required at home sales parties at which the hostess is hoping you will buy her wares. Know before you go that your purchase will serve as your “gift.” Thus, it is traditional that when accepting, attendees plan to buy at least one item (or decline the invitation).

DEAR ANN: Do the names of the groom’s parents go on a wedding invitation?

DEAR READER: Traditionally, yes if the couple is Jewish and no if the couple is not Jewish. However, if one wishes to be contemporary, then one may include the names of the groom’s parents.

DEAR ANN: My husband and I are hosting our daughter’s wedding in the traditional way; we are paying for everything and are happy to do so. Do we also give an actual wedding gift?

DEAR READER: Traditionally, yes. The parents do give a gift that is of some meaning, in addition to paying for the wedding. A place setting or more of the couple’s china, crystal or flatware is a popular choice. It also need not be a purchased item; it can be a piece that has come through the family.

DEAR ANN: How did you happen to start writing a column for The Telegraph?

DEAR READER: As an event planner who also loves to write, I saw something in The Telegraph to which I could add more information. I sent it in as a letter to the editor and was then invited to write a column. The invitation coincided with my recovery from a back injury, during which I could not sit long enough to write at all. So, I viewed this as a fortuitous happenstance!

Ann Connell Bergin, of Amherst, is a New Hampshire event planner, etiquette adviser and justice of the peace. She welcomes your questions. E-mail her at Bridalwed@aol.com.